Expectations hurts nothing else
Expectation - the act or state of expecting : anticipation in expectation of what would happen. 2a : something expected not up to expectations expectations for an economic recovery. b : basis for expecting : assurance they have every expectation of success
As inspired by guru gopal das ji i got idea of this blog.
Expectations are natural. It is inevitable, we all do it because we are humans. But whenever we get upset or disappointed, it is often because of our misplaced expectations. We often get sad, confused and frustrated especially if things don’t go in our way.
- The key here is we need to be able to see the difference between realistic expectations and unrealistic expectations. Setting unrealistic expectations can severely damage our self-esteem, our relationships. Unrealistic expectations would often set us up to disappointment especially when they are not met. Life is not like how they often depict it in movies. For example when you should be always perfect .
Expectations.
Big word. Easy to set. Hard to accomplish.
We expect from people when we think they have the capacity of giving us the things we want. Be it a compliment, a promise, love or appreciation. And when we misjudge their capacities it leads us to the disappointments.
So an effective way to avoid this would be being open to witness their true capacities without any comparisons to yours. Before setting your expectations, try to understand if that person holds similar mindset as yours to fully fulfill your expectations or at least have an ability to understand your expectations and work on them.
Expecting a lot from others is only a bad thing when the expectations are based on misplaced hope or wrong assumptions/beliefs.
We expect things out of others because we choose to believe certain things about them and what their future actions will be. When the actions of people in whom we have chosen to put some level of hope don’t line up with our expectations, we feel disappointed.
As guru gopal das ji explained the most selfish one letter word is ' i '
Everything revolves around 'i' and 'i' here stand fir expectations
How i am treated ,i should be more superior, i should be loved, i should be cared, i should do this or that, i should be dealt like this, i should be....
All these are expectations.
We all are leaving life of high expectations, everyone like life revolves around himself it goes like my life, my rules, my class, my likes, my dislikes, i like him, i like that ,i love him, i hate him, i don't like this or that ,i don't need them, i need them ,i want him or him, i don't want...
Everywhere its i,i,i,i...
With these all 'i' life seems to be good but its not.
Life isn't happy when it revolves around 'i'
From our childhood we have grown up thinking about yourself 'i'
We have only learned to take since we born everyone has his or her expectations and he or she has to fulfill their requirements. Everyone wants things to happen on 'my expectations '
From our childhood to old age we have just my life, my love, my career, my house, my money, my fame etc...
We have lived our life like all time thinking about yourself ,about 'i'
We are always holding our opinions and our expectations and one these get wrong we get hurt.
The problem of expectation occurs when we expect something to happen without good reasons for that expectation. If I believe that my expectations alone will bring me what I want, I am using magical thinking and setting myself up for disappointment. This is really obvious when we are talking about coffee. I can't make a cup of coffee just by thinking it into existence; I have to take the necessary steps to make it happen. I have to grind the beans, put the coffee and water in my coffee maker, and push the button. Just expecting my cup of coffee to appear is delusion.
This is less obvious is when our expectations involve other people. Most of us are sane enough to realize that expecting a cup of coffee to materialize from our thoughts is unrealistic. Yet many of us at some point have mistakenly believed that expecting other people to behave the way we want will actually make them behave that way. One member of a couple might expect the other to make coffee. This is fine and good if the other person is happy to do so. But what happens if the other person has no interest in living up to that expectation? We feel shocked, morally indignant, and resentful. Expectations are premeditated resentments.
The more lead a life of 'i ' and i will be always frustrated. Because people don't exist in this world just to fulfill our expectations.
Nor freindl ,nor family, nor anyone is born to fulfill your expectations
This can only solved by
Not giving control of our life to someone else, we should not depend on others ,
Do not allow anyone to control your emotions .
When we are that we will be treated good, will be not be disrespected and what we think something at some place and those things wont go as we thought, we get frustrated.
The only solution to avoid these is being avoiding 'i' . By being realistic in your expectations thik twice because things we plan does not happens what we decided.
There is no problem to expect but understand not everyone will fulfill your expectations.
Remember everyone has his or her expectations no one there to fulfill your ones.
Avoiding i by trying to serve others by helping others .
if you want to be serve you are depicted on peoples .
Let go of expectations and find something to be grateful about, even when things do not turn out the way you hoped, and you will experience serenity rather than resentment.
#we can get rid of it by:
-Adjusting the way thinking
Cause You are the best person you can talk to.
-speaking up
People will assume the social contract is active unless you explicitly break it.
-free yourself and others
When you take ownership of your life, people feel empowered to follow suit.
-stop judging and expecting
Life is not perfect — removing expectations will let you appreciate your life as is.
Comments